Excuse the mess. We're doing some extensive house cleaning. Enjoy the lists in the meantime...

Billy Crystal, Midgets, Jell-O and Other Bizarre Sports Contracts

"I've been waiting 50 years for this call," Crystal said in a statement, after it was announced that the New York Yankees were signing him to a 1 day minor league contract to play in a spring training game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays on March 13, 2008. Kevin Kernan of the N.Y. Post, wrote, "I would have no problem if Crystal signed with one of his other favorite teams, the Knicks. They're a joke anyway and need the publicity."

Eddie Gaedel

Gaedel is the only midget to have every played Major League Baseball. He stood at just 3 feet 7 inches and weighed in at 65 pounds, and even wore the number 1/8. When he strode to the plate for the St. Louis Browns on August 19, 1951, the umpire was prepared to prevent him from hitting, but the Browns manager had Gaedel's contract in hand, so they let him step in. Four pitches later he was walked, pinch run for, and retired with a career on base percentage of 1.000. Of the experience, Eddie said, "For a minute, I felt like Babe Ruth."

Garth Brooks

In '99 spring training, the country music star played with the Padres for 6 weeks. He recorded 1 RBI in 22 at-bats. The stunt was pulled off in part to raise money for his Touch 'Em All Foundation, which earns money for children's charities based on players racking up offensive stats.

Keith Van Horn

In 2008, retired from the Mavs, but not officially so, this lucky bastard became a linchpin in the deal to trade Jason Kidd from the Nets to the Mavericks. Due to the NBA's convoluted salary cap rules that more or less require trades to match in terms of salaries, the Mavs needed to move another $4 million to New Jersey, and because Van Horn's contract was still on their books, he was happy to get out of his recliner and oblige. He went from an non-paid, non-playing, unofficially retired Mav, to a paid, non-playing unofficially retired Net. $57 large a day, for the rest of the NBA, to do nothing. Some guys have all the luck.

Alex Rodriguez

A-Rod's first mega contract was not strange in and of itself, but the opt-out was. Not only did Rodriguez leave $25 million a year on the table (mind blowing), but his ass of an agent, Scott Boras, decided it would be best to announce that during the World Series.

Charlie Kerfeld

This knucklehead pitcher, who wore the #37, learned another Astros pitcher had been signed to a $110,000 deal in 1987. He upped the ante and shot for the moon, demanding $110,037.37 and 37 boxes of orange Jell-O. And he got it.

Rollie Fingers

In explaining Rollie's new contract, owner Charlie Finley explained, "Rollie not only got a substantial increase in salary," Finley revealed, "but his 1973 contract also includes a year's supply of the very best mustache wax available. In fact, this is what held up the final signing. I wanted to give Rollie $75 for the mustache wax and he wanted $125 for it." Also, Fingers and any other play who sported a mustache during that year's Father's day game received a $300 bonus. But don't you worry, Rollie was no mustache mercenary. He turned down a 1985 minor league contract from the Reds, who had a no facial hair policy. (Full story:http://www.baseballlibrary.com/baseballlibrary/submit/Markusen_Bruce5.stm) at Baseball Reference.

Barry Zito

7 years and $126 Million Dollars is what the San Francisco Giants shelled out for Barry Zito, the Cy Young award winner of 2002 when he was 23-5 with a 2.75 ERA and 182 strikeouts. The year before that he had 205 strikeouts.  Dude used to have the nastiest curve seen to man and made me say ohhhh ahhhhh....now he is getting shelled left and right.  Currently sitting at 0-6 in 2008 with the Giants.